Who said marriage was about living “happily ever after?”

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Who said marriage was about living “happily ever after?”

What happens when false expectations become disillusionment…or something far, far worse?

 Aren’t you glad you’re reading this inspirational little blog? 😉 Actually, it’s not going to be near as pessimistic as the headline sounds…but as long as I have your attention, let’s consider this, shall we? This topic was actually inspired by a FaceBook quote from one of my mentors, the brilliant Quantum Physics expert, Mr. John Demartini, who was featured in the film, “The Secret.” Check out his quote below:

The purpose of marriage is not for you or your partner to be happy as most unwisely imagine. The purpose of marriage is for two partners to equally support and challenge each other in order to own each other’s disowned parts and to make each other true and authentic as they grow in the awareness of true love with wisdom.

John Demartini

What if we had it all wrong?

As John points out, perhaps far too many people enter into marriage or partnership with a very dangerous and perhaps ill-conceived assumption…which may go a long way toward explaining the 50/50 shot we’ve come to know as divorce probability. In light of that fact, maybe part of the solution is taking a step back and re-examining some of our individual and societal beliefs/expectations about the institution itself. After all, if you’re expecting a fairy tale and waking up in a soap opera, it’s not surprising that people head for the door.

Change your blueprint and change your results

In order to effect change, you have to revise your blueprint or your expectations first – and as soon as you do that, your results will invariably change. However, there’s no guarantee that changes in the design stage will automatically turn out as you had hoped in the finished product. They have to be the right changes…

Okay then…what is marriage all about?

As John mentioned in his quote, what if the purpose of partnership is actually a union of two parties who are fully committed to their own individual and collective growth? Maybe it’s simply an amplification of the human experience and a path to divine oneness and spiritual peace. Whether you’re in a marriage, or even just dating, intimate relationships just may be the ultimate vehicle for your own personal growth and development. That’s primarily due to the fact that our “blind spots” usually don’t come into view until we see ourselves anew in someone else’s eyes. Put another way, we seldom discover our own rough edges until they are revealed through contact with another.

Redefining relationships. Refining ourselves.

As we consider this new definition, isn’t there some real value and life-long benefit in simply committing to grow toward being the very best version of our very best selves? How could there possibly be a more noble gift than to serve your partner by expanding your own ability to love them unconditionally, see the very best in them even when they don’t see it and yes, even learn to forgive when it’s the last thing you want to do in the moment? Now if this seems a little challenging at first…of course it is…we’re talking about BEING the very best version of our very best selves. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it. The great news is that thanks to the spiritual Law Of Reciprocation, as you give, so shall you receive…

New meaning…new possibilities…

As long as we’re discussing an “expectation reset,” there are a couple of other benefits to consider as well. Change occurs when we either hit desperation…or reach for aspiration. When you open up to this new vision of what is possible, you may discover a few other things as well. As you begin to accept and embrace your partner’s imperfections (or disowned parts as John called them)…you’ll probably become a lot better at embracing your own. Then once that happens, you’ll be able to do the work that heals all wounds, clears the mind, balances your spirit and leaves you whole, authentic and empowered. Oh, and for the record…when you reach that place….some may just call that living “happily ever after.”

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