Photo: Best-selling author Marianne Williamson & me at the Be The Change National Conference.

If you really want love in your life, there’s one critical decision you need to make first.

As my regular readers and friends know, I had the distinct honor and pleasure of serving as best-selling author Marianne Williamson’s personal assistant for the day at her recent program at the University of Maryland. In my last post, I wrote about how it was such a rewarding milestone in my own career to be now standing on the same stage with a mentor who did so much to inspire me on my journey.

As I write this post, it has been 3 weeks to the day since Marianne’s program and I still feel a visceral change within me that came from her call to action at the “Be The Change” National Conference. Essentially, Marianne’s message challenged us to stop being part of the problem and instead be part of the solution by awakening, letting go of fear and opening our hearts to the power of love.

So how exactly do we DO that?

The answer is relatively simple enough…but in reality, it is anything but easy. That’s because letting go of fear and opening our hearts is incredibly complicated by the emotional firewalls that many people have constructed around their hearts in response to past hurts and perceived pains. In many cases, the pain is all too real…and in some cases, let’s just say the fear of being POSSIBLY hurt is more than enough to create a VERY solid wall. I know none of my readers would do that…but perhaps you know some other people who may have done that in the past? 😉

Tearing down walls requires leverage

Anyone who’s ever done home renovation work knows that in order to build something new and improved, we first have to tear down the old structures that have out-lived their usefulness. In the construction trade, hammers and crowbars are used to remove the nails that hold together old walls we no longer want or need. In coaching, we use a different kind of leverage. We use insightful questions, tried-and-true strategies and the experience to know a load-bearing wall that supports the entire structure from a wall that merely creates an artificial barrier of some sort.

Ready to tear down a wall?

Let me ask you a question. Do you know the difference between vulnerability and weakness? Most people think they are synonymous – and that’s exactly why most people get stuck. The fact is, true vulnerability is actually the epitome of strength. That’s because only the strongest among us will put ourselves on the line and stand in our vulnerability and give grace, love and compassion to another human being with no expectation in return. If that seems scary to you, let me remind you that true love only comes to those who can give it and receive it EQUALLY WELL. If that still seems scary to you, we simply need to build a little muscle in that area and I can help you with that so feel free to contact me.

Here’s the leverage you need:

In my headline, I said that in order to have love, you first needed leverage…so as promised, here’s some leverage for you, courtesy of my beautiful mentor and now friend, Marianne Williamson. She said this a few weeks ago and I found it so powerful that I wrote it down to share with you because the world changes for the better every time a soul awakens. In case you haven’t been paying attention, we have some work to do…and your awakened soul can literally make “a world of difference.”

“You will know love when the thought of not being who you could’ve been is scarier than the thought of never having reached your potential.” 

– Marianne Williamson

Do you still really want true love?

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but if you really want to have true love, you will only have it to the degree that you can express it to another. If you can really digest Marianne’s quote above, you will finally know the truth and have the leverage you need to make any necessary shifts. You will experience all the love you want when you stop making it about what other people did or didn’t do and own the fact that your journey is about YOUR growth, no one else’s.

You arrived on this earth, in this form, to be the very best YOU that you can possibly be and relationships may be the single best vehicle you will ever discover for your own personal development. If you say you can’t, then you must. Don’t lie to yourself. No one ever won a gold medal without putting in the practice and neither will you. If you find it hard to love someone else, remember that those who are hardest to love are the very ones who need it the most. So, knowing that, if you still want to experience love, let me ask you one last question. When would now be a good time to open your heart and allow the true spirit of love to flow in you, as you and through you?