It took him 29 years to learn how to love his wife…November 19, 2014
Science Says One Good Turn…Will Keep You TogetherMarch 2, 2015
I want to share a story that happened just this week with a longtime and dear friend of mine. My friend is an actress whether she’s in a production or not. With her big personality, her infectious laugh and her flair for the dramatic, she was born to be on the stage or screen. I’ve always encouraged her to go after this dream but in my line of work, I see it all the time…sometimes people can get a little overwhelmed by the size and sheer magnitude of their dreams. Can you imagine? Maybe you can…
Living The Dream
So after living abroad for several years and doing some intermittent acting roles, my friend is now home in New York City and once again pursuing her passion for acting. Of course, I support her all the way. In fact, we had a call the other day and we discussed a big upcoming audition! We talked about her character, the audition notes and I even offered to run lines with her. It seemed like as soon as she arrived back in The Big Apple, her NYC-based agent immediately got her an audition. That might not seem like a huge deal to non-actors but she auditioned alongside a number of others who couldn’t get an agent. That only made her feel even more grateful and blessed.
The Big Day!
On the day of the audition, we connected briefly and she felt great. She was still memorizing and rehearsing her lines on the streets of NYC and rather than panicking about being unprepared, she felt like a “professional” just doing her thing. I told her I was thinking of her… sending my very best and I closed with 3 words: “You’ve got this.”
A short time later, I heard from her again and she said: “Yes! Nailed the audition. They loved me! Feeling blessed.” Naturally, I was elated and I told her I loved watching it all come together for her. I even playfully joked that it was my exceptional stage directing that made all the difference… when, of course, I know that not to be true. But then she turned my little suggestion right around on me before I even saw it coming. That’s because she agreed that I had made a difference and she reminded me… “You said “You got this.” And I kept repeating that. I got this. :-)” She basically created an incantation with my words. When we connected later, she told me “those 3 words are just so YOU… “You’ve got this.” It was that alone that made all the difference because you believe me in me always..”
Now THAT was humbling…
In that moment, she reminded me AGAIN for what might be the millionth time just how incredibly powerful it can be when you simply BELIEVE IN SOMEONE when they, themselves, might have a tough time doing it in the moment. Honestly, as a coach, that’s literally the job description and I’m not bragging when I say I do it all the time. Don’t get me wrong: I absolutely LOVE what I do and I don’t think I take it for granted at all. My point is that when something becomes sort of “commonplace”…every now and again…it’s really humbling to get a reminder of what a miracle it is when we can make such a difference for another human being. I have to tell you…I highly recommend the feeling of serving someone else in such a profoundly and potentially life-changing way.
Are you ready to pay it forward?
I didn’t share this story to brag about me or about my very talented friend. I shared it to hopefully inspire you and remind you of what a precious gift you have within your power right this very second. When you simply believe in someone else, you never know how far-ranging the ramifications. In today’s world, it seems like too many are happy to tear down others in order to make themselves feel better…but I’ve never REALLY seen it truly work once. Show me a “happy hater” and I’ll show you a mask to hide all the pain that’s really inside. By contrast, if you show me someone who regularly lifts others up simply because they can…I’ll show you a kind of true strength that is truly remarkable.
Begin with the end in mind…
As you know, my articles are always designed to be a quick read with some practical advice on how to improve your most important and valued relationships. This particular one is no exception. Nothing will deepen your intimate relationship more than really believing in…trusting…and loving your partner…especially when they really need it the most…or feel like they deserve it the least. Nothing will empower your kids – or ANY kid for that matter – like a sincere compliment and a good dose of unconditional love. But you’re not limited to using this with just family. You can empower your employees…your peers…your neighbors…friends… acquaintances…even STRANGERS!
Get ready…get set…
I want to challenge you to feel this kind of amazing power for yourself but I have to warn you…it can be kind of addictive…and it can create seismic shifts in the results you’re getting in your entire life. In the next 24 hours, I challenge you to pass this gift of just BELIEVING IN SOMEONE on to someone who could really use it…and I’d be honored if you would report back and tell me how it went. Let’s create a huge wave of empowerment that can lift us all to new heights.
Ask yourself this:
• Who do you know who might be going through a tough time at the moment?
• How can you bless them by simply telling them that you believe in them right now?
Keep in mind you don’t have to fix anything…or solve anything. They’re not broken. You just have to believe in them. And one last thing. Feel free to repeat as needed…