Once you strip off the mask of your “assumed identity,” you may just be surprised what you find beneath…
I hope you’ll pardon the slightly cryptic nature of the headline but this may be one of the most exciting blogs I’ve ever written. It’s also potentially one of the most important ones you’ll ever read. Here’s why: I want to share a huge breakthrough one of my clients has had that even the experts said couldn’t happen!
Let’s back up for a second
I started working with my client just 7 short months ago and the change in her has been nothing short of incredible. When we first met, she firmly believed she was shy and introverted – but as we gradually revealed the woman beneath “the mask” she wore for protection…it didn’t seem all that true. Once we healed and resolved some long-standing wounds from her childhood which had always held her back, an all-new woman began to emerge. Then from there, she confidently handled an old dispute with a contractor who had not completed his work before disappearing. She calmly took the lead in a family health crisis and built a consensus when the rest of her family was stressed out and worried. She stood up to a bully who was intimidating her by setting new boundaries effectively and she defused the situation. Then, as if all that that wasn’t enough, she decided to leave her job and launch her own business. It has been incredibly rewarding to watch this woman give her entire life a “makeover” by stepping up with newfound confidence and faith in herself.
But That’s Not Even The Best Part
While in the process of laying the groundwork for her new company, my client had an opportunity to once again use a diagnostic tool called the Meyers Briggs test. If you’re not familiar with it, the Meyers Briggs test is one of the most well-known and reliable instruments we have when it comes to measuring psychological preferences in how people perceive the world and make decisions.
In fact, it was a MB test many years ago that first “confirmed” her assumption that she was an introvert. Interestingly enough, it’s widely believed by those who administer the test that “your basic preferences will likely not change” over the course of your lifetime. However, due to the phenomenal growth and permanent healing my client has done in our work together – her latest test NOW says she is EXTROVERTED – and by a wide margin, too! Now I’m not suggesting it’s somehow “better” to be extroverted rather than introverted, however, these new characteristics have served her well as she has stepped up, handled disputes, negotiated effectively and re-created her life. It’s also created all-new possibilities for her by accessing all-new skills and abilities.
New healing brings new possibilities
Can you imagine how this ONE change has affected her entire world and circumstances?!? As a supposed introvert, my client believed she was “thought” oriented when, in fact, she is “action” oriented. She thought she preferred “depth” of knowledge and influence when she actually sought “breadth” of knowledge and wide-ranging expertise. She thought she preferred more “substantial” interaction with fewer people who were close to her, when, in fact, she was actually quite comfortable (and now more experienced in) public speaking and more “frequent” interactions. She used to think she recharged her energy by spending time alone when in fact, she actually loved spending time with people. We also saw some big changes in her shift away from “judging” and always having to be rigid and organized, in favor of a new acceptance and gift for “perceiving” of where opportunities already exist. In short, she was playing kind of small because she could only go on what she thought she knew at the time…and she was hugely mistaken. Simply put, now that she was PERCEIVING her opportunities differently, she was free to handle them in all-new and more effective ways.
That’s the power of “Identity”
Identity is the strongest force in the human personality because people MUST live in alignment with who they believe they are at the deepest levels – otherwise, they experience great pain. This woman was operating on some old assumptions of who she believed she was BEFORE she was healed. Once we healed the original wounds, we were able to shore up and strengthen the foundation upon which everything else rested. From there, we were able to create a new and more compelling future which was much more congruent with how she really wanted to show up on a daily basis. As a result of her new and improved identity, she was now able to access enhanced skills and capabilities that were infinitely more effective in creating the life she desired – and deserved. In other words, once she claimed her new, more empowered identity, she was also able to find the traits she needed within her.
So where are you playing small?
I didn’t share this whole story just to brag about how my client has defied the experts and made such tremendous shifts in HER world in such a very short time. (Although that IS really awesome!) Actually, I shared it so you might be inspired to take a look at some of the old stories or unresolved wounds that aren’t serving you. On the other side of healing lies the life and reality that you really want. That’s because once you do the work, it opens up all new possibilities that weren’t available to you prior. I like to tell my clients that awareness is a very powerful gift because you can never really un-ring the bell. Once you have a new awareness or see a new reality you never saw prior, you can’t pretend you didn’t know. Sure, you can try to ignore it…but once you know the truth…you will eventually have to shift out of your old and outdated “assumed identity.” It’s just too painful to stay stuck behind an old mask you’ve outgrown. After all, if you could assume ANY identity you want, why would you settle for one that’s so far beneath what you truly deserve to have?