You Can Learn A Valuable Lesson From This Real-Life Legendary Love For Life.
This weekend I heard a beautiful story that perfectly illustrates a point I teach all the time and I want to share it with you for a couple of reasons. Before I go into detail, I want to acknowledge my friend, Nestor Aparicio, who did the phenomenal interview 8 years ago that I am about to reference with the former owner of the Baltimore Ravens football team who passed away earlier this week at the age of 87. I’m writing this to both serve my clients and fans and at the same time, honor a couple I regard with great fondness and appreciation.
First…A Little Background…
I had the privilege to meet Art a few times and chat with him at charity or team functions and he was a delightful man with a wonderful wit and tremendous sense of humor. Up until his wife’s health began to fail, Art and Pat (pictured above) were always together in public and donated generously to many charitable organizations including a very special place to me personally – St. Vincent’s Villa, a home for abused children – not to mention Baltimore’s Lyric Opera House, the renowned Cleveland Clinic, and countless others. Pat Modell passed away last October at the age of 80 and as often happens, her adoring husband passed away less than a year later.
When Art Met Pat…A 40-Plus Year Legendary Love For Life
Pat Breslin was a very successful TV actress in Hollywood when she and Art were introduced by the owner of the Los Angeles Rams in 1969 at a restaurant in California. At the time, Art was a 43 year-old, never-married bachelor who described himself as something as a ladies man. That was…until he met Pat. In no time, he was telling people he had just met the woman he was going to marry…and they were married – just TWO MONTHS LATER!
Wait a minute…TWO MONTHS?!?!?
So you may be asking yourself…how does a woman so captivate a man who is an avowed, lifelong bachelor, maybe even something of a playboy, millionaire, jet-setter businessman so that he wants to marry her almost from the moment he meets her? Great question. I believe Art revealed a huge part of the reason in a story he shared with Nestor as he looked back on his life and legacy.
Pat Was A High-Value Woman
As Art shared the story in his own inimitable and humorous style, he told of the first time he asked Pat out. She was a single Mom with 2 young boys at home which was nowhere NEAR as common back then as it is today. SInce Art was traveling quite a bit and use to see multiple women, he thought nothing of suggesting that Pat meet him at a restaurant for their date. It was a move he had made a number of times in the past without a hint of protest…but that was until he had met his match in Pat. She promptly informed him that she didn’t meet men in restaurants and if he wanted to see her again, he would have to come to her home to pick her up properly and to meet her boys and nanny. Needless to say, Art got the picture real quickly and came to meet the boys who would become his stepsons just two months later.
So What Can We Learn From This?
So often when I am coaching women on how to better understand men and how they process the world, I try to stress that if they don’t know their own value, how do you expect a man to see it?!? All of us…men AND women…are attracted to confidence and healthy self-esteem. It’s not about arrogance or cockiness…it’s just having high standards and knowing what you want – or won’t accept. Pat knew this…and Art got the message very quickly. That’s why he was walking her down the aisle just 2 months later.
Men are very simple creatures…they’re analytical and they just want to solve problems…most importantly, “how can I make this woman happy?” Left to their own devices, healthy men have pretty much one mood most of the time. By comparison, women are infinitely more complex because they navigate the world using emotion primarily. That’s why they are usually far more attuned to “woman’s intuition.”
Any time you try to understand something simple by passing it through a complex filter…you will frequently misread it…and badly. By the same token, when men try to apply a simple filter to very complex and emotional issues…they usually screw up, too. That’s why I do this work. I help bridge the gap between men and woman that allows them to communicate effectively without sabotaging themselves.
The Last Word
As I said earlier, we ALL want to be with someone that makes us feel good and the best formula for that is R.A.D. First you RESPECT them…then you ADMIRE them…and finally you DESIRE them. Sometimes it hits you all at once like a chain reaction. That’s the difference between straight out, white-hot attraction…if you go straight to desire WITHOUT the first two steps, it probably won’t last because its foundation is chemistry alone. But don’t take my word for it, this is what Art Modell said about his Legendary Love For Life in a 2001 interview with The Baltimore Sun. “They say it hits you hard between the eyes. My judgment has been vindicated … It’s been a great run. We laugh together. We cry together. And she likes football.”
• In Memory of Mr. & Mrs. Arthur B. Modell •
Rest In Peace