As a relationship coach, I hear it all the time.
“Everything would be FINE if you could just change (insert partner’s name here).” Well, at the risk of disappointing you, that’s not exactly the way it works. I’m very effective at getting results for my clients…and the truth is – it’s impossible to change someone who doesn’t want to change so you might want to be smart and save yourself the aggravation. In fact, when you judge people critically, it does nothing but create push-back and resentment….which pretty much assures you’ll never be successful at getting your needs met. Sounds like a bad idea, right?
Well the good news is, there is a better, easier, more effective – and far smarter way. If that sounds appealing, you have Sir Isaac Newton to thank. No, Sir Isaac wasn’t a relationship coach – but he was smart enough to discover and share a Natural Law that he called his 3rd Law of Motion. (Note: much of my coaching is based on Natural and Spiritual Laws because they are always in effect whether you know it or not). Specifically, Newton taught us that For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Here’s how that applies: the only thing in this world you truly can control and change is your own actions, behavior and beliefs. As Sir Isaac pointed out a very long time ago, once your partner sees true change in you…they can’t help but RE-act or even better yet, respond, due to your action. In other words, as you CHANGE, they SHIFT. Trust me; when you show up differently – they’ll notice. I’ve seen it – and proved it myself – many times. Now it’s not immediate and I can’t guarantee you will get the exact change you always want, but you will definitely notice a shift. In fact, it’s unavoidable!